it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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