I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize