Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
