is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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