dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
