I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
