Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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