I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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