It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
