I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
