I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Help. Why am I so naked?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
