I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
