I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
