He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
