omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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