Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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