he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
