So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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