I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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