Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
