I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think my fart just growled at me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
