chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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