I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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