what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
