apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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