ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
