Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
