Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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