Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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