I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
A+ Viking dick
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