ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
