he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
