so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
