with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
how drunk are you?
Several
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
