We named our party play list daddy issues
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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