the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
