so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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