I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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