my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize