All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
