The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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