I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
