allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
