His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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