So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
