weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
