I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
