Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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