im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
