walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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