Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
