eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
