Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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