Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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