He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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