i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
