Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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