how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
