if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
