and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
