Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
