Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
