I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize