I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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