At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
